Posted on October 28, 2016 by ADMIN

If you won fortunes, would you buy Arsenal? Or a hair transplant!

5 Ways an Arsenal Fan Could Spend Their Massive Accumulator Winnings

We all dream about the day when that overly optimistic and frankly ludicrous 18 fold accumulator comes in and it starts to rain pound coins. You called it, Arsenal finally put 5 past Man City, Chelsea drew 6-6 away at Burnley and you’re now swimming neck deep in £50 notes, but it does beg the question… What would you actually spend it on? So we put our heads together and came up with a few ideas on what your average Arsenal fanatic would do if they won a few bob betting.

Get a Rooney Hair Transplant
Sat in the stands week in week out watching another agonising 90 minutes of sub-standard football will set your heart racing and stress levels through the roof. A man can only take so many last minute winners and dodgy penalty decisions before the stress gets to your head, literally… Their comes a point when the hairline starts to slowly creep back and the thatching thins, but never fear, with your new found fortune you can pull a Rooney and hit the reset button with a brand spanking new noggin! Your chance has come to turn back the years and bring back those luscious locks. Whether you get on-board with the latest trend or even copy your favourite player’s style, you’re sure to be the envy of the terraces as your mane dances in the breeze.
Justarsenal hair

Buy Arsenal!
Let’s be honest, we all sit in the stands pointing out exactly why we’re losing, how we should play, and how terrible that centre forward is. It all seems so obvious from up there in the terraces, it’s just a shame that you’ll never get the chance to impart your golden nuggets of wisdom onto the team, or will you? Now you’ve got the bank account of a Russian oligarch why not put your money where your mouth is and take your team to the next level? Pick the team, change the kit, sack the physio and dye the pitch purple, everything is finally exactly how you’ve ever wanted it. Just think of it as the most expensive game of Football Manager that you’ve ever played. No pressure!
JustArsenal Emirates

Treat Your Fellow Supporters
Winning a tonne of money doesn’t mean you have to turn your back on brown sauce, start drinking Crystal and eat Caviar by the bucket. Regardless of wealth or social standing the humble match day pie (no matter how questionable that ‘meat’ is) will forever be a spectacle, the pinnacle of pastry at the forefront of culinary excellence, so why not share the love and treat your fellow supporters to a pie and pint? You’re all in the same boat and you all put yourselves through that shambles every week, it’s the least you can do.

Buy World Class Players
Not all clubs were born equal, naturally the ones with the most money have world class players, world class staff and world class facilities, ultimately resulting in success year after year. Clubs such as Chelsea were average (at best) before their money wielding saviour came galloping along, so why not transform your club into the next global super power buy throwing all your money into the transfer kitty? Sod the youth system, just buy a new team of experienced world class foreign players and start your march to the top of the table ASAP!
messi

Buy your local team and re-build the Stadium
Unless your local team plays in the Premier League chances are the seats are squeaky, the doors are falling off, the billboards are rotten, the pitch is shot, the roof is basically a colander and the floor is always suspiciously sticky, but now is your chance to give back to your own neighbourhood. Stump up the cash to finally get rid of that old battered stadium and build an epic new one! 60,000 seats, state of the art pitch irrigation and 140inch screens may be a bit over the top for a Conference team but don’t worry, they’ll grow into it with your help…
stadium

What would you do?

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2 thoughts on “If you won fortunes, would you buy Arsenal? Or a hair transplant!

  1. Alexis the Great

    I wouldn’t buy the club but I would definitely buy an executive box and have a bloody great party with all my mates at every game!

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  2. Wilshegz

    invest in businesses that ll potentially make me wealthier than Usmanov and Kroenke combined maybe they ll sell their shares to me at an auction-esque value

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