Arsenal Debate: Coronavirus – An imaginary story: What if . . .

Coronavirus – An imaginary story. What if . . . by GunnerJack

The ruler of Fightbackistan summoned his chief health minister.”Good morning Fred, I’ve just read your report about the coronavirus. You appear to have taken the opposite view to the rest of the world and give me the impression that you consider it a weak, pathetic virus which is powerless against any healthy person’s immune system. Is that correct?”

“It is sir. I have studied the facts carefully and found that the people at risk are elderly, over sixty mainly, and probably already have serious health problems, such as heart disease, lung disease, cancer and diabetes. On top of this, some may already be taking medication which suppresses their immune systems, such as those who take methotrexate for rheumatoid arthritis. All these are at risk.”

“So what is the actual risk to such people.”

“If you will check the report sir, which I compiled from various sources around the world, such as the CDC in the USA, the actual percentage of people who die from the virus when they are already very ill is around 15%. Many of those would die anyway, such as those with terminal cancer etc. but the scaremongers try to insinuate that they died of covid-19, the disease caused by the corona virus.”

“So even if someone is already extremely ill, their chances of recovering from this virus is 85% – is that what you are telling me?”

“Indeed I am sir. That is why I call the virus weak and pathetic. It is a bully, able to beat only the immune systems of people who are already badly weakened by any other disease they have and who would probably die anyway. It should be treated with the contempt it deserves.”

“So why have the rest of the world rushed into a panic stricken merry-go-round, with closures of sporting events, theatres, restaurants, pubs – you name it?”

“I have no idea sir. It seems to me the World Health Organisation mentioned the disease could kill but failed to point out those who were actually at risk. So without first checking out who actually was at risk, a few mindless people, even rulers of countries, started to panic, followed by those who like to jump on the latest bandwagon.

“The situation we have now is that most of the world has succumbed to this mass hysteria. Thanks to the self serving headline makers in the media, those who take the view that ‘all publicity is good publicity’ and who desperately want to attract attention to themselves and the organisations they work for, most people will just look at the headlines and start to panic. The admonishment to ‘tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth’ is far from the minds of the attention seeking media. Instead they much prefer to tell just a little part of the truth, enough to get those who act on impulse, without thinking things through, to join in the hysteria they have caused. I’m afraid the media, including social media, has a lot to answer for sir.”

“So what do you suggest?”

“Tell all our people to just carry on as normal, except to be careful where they may meet anyone from the at-risk groups. For those in obvious good health, such as a football team, tell them get them to get together in a room with someone who has the virus, preferably the manager, e.g. to watch videos and show his players where they went wrong etc. Then instruct the manager to cough, splutter and sneeze as much as he wants and that he is forbidden to even wipe his nose until the sneeze is over, much less suppress any cough or sneeze with a handkerchief or tissue. Then the players, who have hopefully caught the disease, would be instructed to go home for a week while their immune systems destroy the disease, maybe take a pain killer for any headaches etc. and then get back to the training ground and resume their everyday, normal lives.”

“And the at-risk groups?”

“First, order the supermarkets to open at least one morning per week exclusively for the over 60s.

“Then tell those at risk it would be better to ‘self-isolate’ for a few weeks until the virus has passed. Tell younger, healthy people to avoid contact with their elderly relatives or friends, except to bring them any supplies, prescriptions, etc they may need, and to leave them on the doorstep after knocking. ‘Self-isolate’ is the new buzzword by the way sir” he said, smiling.

“Yes Fred, I am well aware that you keep up to date with everything – that is why you are my chief minister. Thank you for your advice. I will act on it immediately. Please come back after lunch and we’ll go over the fine details. Maybe the rest of the world will see how our country defeated the virus – without all this mindless pandemonium!”



    1. Honestly I have no idea why this was allowed to be published it’s absolutely awful he is clearly trolling why else would he be this much of a contrarian with a subject like this?

      1. Probably because it more truthfully describes the actual facts, as opposed to all the hype you appear to have swallowed.

        1. Your ignorance knows no bounds, you can only be a contrarian if your a smart one, this article is honestly drivel, sounds like it was crafted by a bitter ten year old.

          1. Ignorance – your favourite new word. When did you learn it . . . NAY, DON’T LOOK AT YOUR WATCH!

            Would you please point out specifically what is ignorant. Please do NOT say ‘Oh, everything’ as that would just lead me to conclude that you have about as much brain as a baby ant and don’t actually have a clue what it is that you’ve found to be ignorant. You could set it out like this:
            Ignorant point 1:
            Ignorant point 2:
            Ignorant point 3:
            Ignorant point 4:
            Ignorant point 5:
            etc etc and then we could contest each point.
            I’ll bookmark this so I don’t lose it this time and fail to answer you and will be back tomorrow morning at about 7am Thursday my time, 11pm still Wed your time.
            It’s midnight here now. Goodnight.

        2. I’ll say this for you Gunner Jack,my own post and several other Gooners,in fact ALL who replied to you the other day, has clearly got under your thick skin,when you propogated this immoral nonsense about “sod the elderly” who you laughably and ignorantly call “the over 60s’ not, more sensibly, the over 90’s but let that lesser point pass. I am, correctly too, not allowed to write what I REALLY think of you as a person, so let that pass too.

          I do credit your ingenuity in trying to make an imaginary tale from your disgusting life view and so a technical credit from me, as a pro writer myself, for that dubious “achievement”!

          However, the humane and wise Rory Johnson in his post above says it all and far more succinctly too than this post.


          1. He clearly has a vendetta and enjoys getting a rise out of people otherwise he wouldn’t have concocted this drivel article, he even called you out on another post jon just to goad you. And he believes he clearly knows better than the governmental authorities and chief medical personnel who feel that despite the economical struggles we will endure its necessary, but no some internet degenerate with no economics or medical degree knows the appropriate measures best for his country, absolutely laughable.

          2. As I am over 70 and have RA with the accompanying immune suppressing medication (i.e. I am in the high-risk group) how could I possibly say anything like ‘sod the elderly?’
            When have I ever said that? Answer – never.
            However that doesn’t suit your narrative does it, so you just made it up. If I’m wrong please tell me which comment, or comments, you are referring to.
            As for Rory ‘Igno’ Johnson he knows he doesn’t have a leg to stand on. I asked him to provide me with a list showing where I’d been ignorant and of course he couldn’t. He then lied that he’d already told me he’d done talking to me. He hadn’t of course but I certainly won’t miss his own blind ignorance.
            So Jon, I now await YOUR list of where I’ve denigrated the elderly (including myself of course LOL). Talk about ridiculous!

  1. This article is not funny and certainly not clever. How on earth the admins on here published this piece of trash I do not know. As someone else said, you are ignorant, I’d use stronger language but it would get deleted.

    1. Yeah mate its actually laughable that the admins didnt delete this straight away, not only is the message obviously trolling but it’s also terribly written.

  2. So gunnerjack you are not resident in this country and spout your rubbish to us. You have no idea.
    Go forth and multiply, or something similar!

    1. I retired to the Philippines in 2011 having spent all my life in England. Three of my sons still live there (the fourth in Boston USA). So I do know, and have an attachment to, England and want the best for all who live there.
      You also jumped on the bandwagon and called me ignorant. Just as I did with Rory ‘Igno’ Johnson, I also ask you to list where I have been ignorant.
      I won’t hold my breath waiting for your list as there won’t be one. Mindless bandwagon jumpers like you never, ever produce facts to back up their wild accusations.
      I wait for you to correct me.

      1. Ignorant of the truth of our situation and ignorant of people’s feelings in these very worrying times. My opinion is the article was unwarranted and not helpful when people are suffering, not only physical hardship but mental and financial hardship too. I didn’t jump on any bandwagon as you call it, I actually started typing my comment first, before anyone else, but was so appalled at the article, I had to abort it and come back to it later which I did. Anyway let’s all move on and I wish only good health for you and your family in these troubling times. Peace out ✌🏻

  3. Igno there is no reply button on your ridiculous comment so I’ll just have to reply here.
    Please give me directions to the news article you mentioned and I’ll take a look.
    I will also find part one of this article and see if I can find your reply about “most people not reporting they have it.” I didn’t follow that particular article/thread because I thought the entire article was way over the top.
    You say you don’t have to prove my ignorance. So you must believe it is ok to go round making wild accusations against someone with not one iota of proof and everything is fine?
    You also say that admin should have deleted it straight away. Are you TOTALLY IGNORANT of the fact that it’s Admin who posts these articles? Bit pointless to post something and then delete it wouldn’t you say.
    Regarding Admin, please note that he does not always agree with my views (or anyone else’s) but still, in the name of fair play, posts them anyway.
    I know fair play is an alien concept to you and that you won’t read articles which would shoot you down in flames if you did (from outside, independent, sources) but your ranting is just obnoxious.
    All you can do is mouth off your stupid allegations and hope no one asks for facts to back them up. If they do ask then, in popular parlance, you are well and truly knackered.

    1. When you say just stop etc do you mean I shouldn’t rebuff the stupid things you first say to me? Want it all your own way do you? As in you can say what you want about someone but they have no right to retaliate? To defend themselves?
      If you are asked for facts to back up your accusations you cannot. You say I am ignorant and I asked you for facts. You were unable to give any, saying instead something along the lines of ‘just shut up’ etc.
      This is how you should have done it.
      Statement: I think you are ignorant.
      Proof of statement:
      (BTW I don’t usually mention anyone’s bad spelling etc but have you have just attacked me I feel I have the right.)
      Here goes:
      1) you said to Jon Fox ‘Couldn’t of said it better myself …’. Childish mistake. That should be ‘HAVE’ said it better
      2) ‘…people were interviewed and asked why there buying it’ That should have been ‘they’re’ buying it, short for they are.
      3) ‘even if the numbers aren’t entirely accurate there the best we have’ Same mistake as 2.
      4) ‘ there will definitely be much more deaths’. The correct word here is many, not much.
      These just from the article you told me to check out, which I did.
      You made 14 comments there and I didn’t see your comment “most people not reporting they have it” but maybe you meant ‘you cant say most people dont report it’ in your 11th comment. If so, how did I ‘dodge your reply?’

      Now to more serious matters – one of the comments you made there was about your girlfriend who has both diabetes and MS which definitely puts her in the high-risk bracket. I sincerely feel sorry for her and hope she gets through this.
      Further, I can understand that being under that sort of pressure has probably caused you to act/write as you do so I take that into consideration – and hope we don’t have bad comments/conversations in future. All the best to you both.

      1. Attacking me for using short hand text so desperate. And I dont want your sorrys about my girlfriend with your attitude it’s literally an insult. Kindly leave me alone wierdo.

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