Arsenal fans, lighten up and confess!

One Gooner’s guilty pleasures, confessions and irrational thoughts by JS

Dear Gooners

This site has been a place full of angst, introspection and gloom in recent weeks. Who the next transfer will be, or even more debilitating for some – will there even be a next transfer? Anyone else got Benzema-itus? I thought I would lighten the mood a little with a few private thoughts that no matter how hard I try just never leave my mind. We all have strong opinions but I reckon we all have those nagging, sometimes irrational, thoughts that just won’t go away. Some of mine in no particular order:

1) I used to turn the TV off if Gerrard did a post match interview – the most boring interviewee in the game, probably ever. I can’t help thinking our Aaron might inherit that crown.

2) I prefer Spud pundits to old gunner “experts”. Much prefer listening to Jenas, Hoddle, Redknapp (Old ‘Arry not Jamie) than Henry, Wright, Merson.

3) Everytime I see Santi on screen an image of Manuel off “Fawlty Towers” creeps in to my mind.

4) I enjoy LvG interviews and admire his brutal honesty.

5) Everytime Wenger does an interview I pray he doesn’t say “good spir-eete” but he always lets me down.

6) I want BT Sport to go bankrupt.

7) Young players who I think are overrated and still have a lot to do to warrant the attention they get; Kane, Courtois, Sterling, Januzaj, Lukaku, Wilshere.

8) Players who are not great but are hiding in plain sight in good teams; Ivanovic, Cahill, Ramires, Fernandinho, Hart, Jones, Smalling, Henderson, Blind, Gibbs.

9) I am underwhelmed by Tomas Rosicky’s contribution over the past 9 seasons but never argue the point on here as he is clearly god-like and I have missed something.

10) Cesc nearly always looks sad to me, I still feel sorry for him – can’t help it.

Don’t forget – the above is not an invitation to argue. It is a call to other Gooners to share their secret or guilty thoughts.

Keep calm and open up!


Tags Cazorl Rosicky Wenger Wilshere


  1. lol courtois overrated?? the lad sent Cech to warm the bench and you think he’s overrated?

    1. did u just diss petr cech?!

      anyone got batmans landline?

      (you are in big f*cking trouble now pal)

        1. Ypu mean the guy that we scored against vs the guy that had a clean sheet in the community shield? 🙂

  2. 1) Every time I see the famous Wenger smirk on tv, I want to punch him.

    2) Every time I see Suarez score for Barca I get a little pang inside

    3) I secretly hope Flamini and Arteta injure each other in training so Wenger has to buy a DM

    4) I secretly wish the richest Russian or African buys our club and splashes a billion dollars.

    1. i secretly wish u didnt make this comment…

      ok point 3 a little, but still- HOW DARE U..dun dun dunnnnn

    2. 4) agreed. Stan Kroenke out, what a tool. All the other teams in top4 have at some point spent insane amounts of money to get them where they are today, except Arsenal. It is admirable that we are still where we are due to that, but it wont win us trophies. Besides – look at chelsea: A team the size of Everton has a billionaire injecting money into them for 10 years and now theyre slightly bigger than Arsenal in economy and world wide suporter size. And now – they don’t really need Abramovich anymore, they run themselves pretty much.

      1. @sevenetti
        How do you call being in debt to the owner, to the tune of over 2 billion running themselves pretty much. If Abrahmovic sells, then that sum is guaranteed to be added to the price…

        1. As in now they dont need the money from abramovich to manage their economy. Of course they are in debt, so are we and so are Man Utd, even though they are spending 250 million pounds on transfers. So are Barcelona and Real Madrid, and I’m damn sure even Bayern are in debt. So what’s your point? If Abramovich decides enough is enough with his spendings for Chelsea, they can manage to run on the same level – City can’t, they don’t have the income to cover salary AND transfers and other expenditures at the same current level.

          1. @sevenetti
            IF Abramovic leaves, Chelsea go under or at best back to the position they were in before he came. Which was mid table. They would need another oil rich kid to buy in order for them to sustain their position.
            Thats my point…

            1. In reality, this could never be true.

              If the man owns the club and decides he wants to support Arsenal instead and therefore cuts his ties with Chelsea. What do you think would happen?

              Would he not want to sell the club to the next billionaire (who recently became a Chelsea fan because he likes the Kings road and has just discovered football and well they have been successful)?

              And So they would get the next oligarch…

              Plus the fact they are a big club with many supporters (££€$¥¥¥¥$) around the world who are happy to pay funds into the cause/brand.

              Chelsea were lifted by this injection of cash, and consequently they went on to buy the best players, managers and success.

              It’s business and if you invest in conjunction with sound strategy you succeed..

              I wish we were a ‘little’ but more like them!


    1. we are the barcelona of the epl!!

      minus the trophies!

      meh just metal innit. CAMPIONES CAMPIONES OLE OLE OLE

  3. I wish we had an owner that cared about our great club and didn’t look at it as just a business.

      1. i like to think hes ur actual brother, an u both use wifi from the same router but in different parts of the house….if its not true plz dont say..

        my lil heart couldnt take the pain..

        *puts on cher – greatest hits

        1. I like to think you have several accounts on this website, commenting and up/downvoting yourself and others with you accounts

  4. 1. I enjoy watching coutinho score a tap in against Doncaster then hearing Jamie carragher say he’s better than ozil 2. I often wonder if Fellaini pubic hair is similar to the hair on his head

      1. nuffdiver I have been in therapy every season for the last eleven years think where did it go wrong 🙂

          1. I don’t think so I will just get Julia Roberts to give you therapy instead she has got 28 inches to wrap around you 🙂 Quote from Pretty Women. I am just trying to make this post fun as the author wanted to do.

            1. hahahhahahah you too keep it up…you made my day on laughs.
              Oh and I also went to therapy for that red cr vs Jens!!

  5. 1. I wish Henry stopped punditry
    2. I want one of our 17 year olds to be a revelation this season
    3. I wish Kelly Brooks was stroking my hair while i write this

      1. @Andrew AFC
        Anything is possible with Kelly these days…LOL

        Whats been good dude? hope all is well with you and yours.

  6. I wonder how the community shield is treated like a friendly when both clubs hate each other and the players want to win an official trophy! Both teams played to win that game like it was a bpl game, not a friendly, but pundits say you can’t take anything from it as it was nothing but a friendly, yet be tell scores a volley against Swindon town in a friendly and he’s suddenly liverpools saviour! Make your minds up! We’re guna go close, very close this season! With or with out benzema! I really want him but £40 million for a 29 year old, I’d rather laccazette for the same!

    1. It wasn’t a friendly Jose wanted to win mark my words. Every team and every manager wants to win every game. Oh dear Jose there is only one club that has done that GOYG

    2. @5pur2
      I also wonder why the Community Shield is considered a friendly. When it’s between the winners of the EPL and the F.A. Cup.

      *I wish Kos would serve up more beat downs. OR at least throw a few more knuckles and elbows to players.
      *Would like AW to set loose Gabe a lot more, so he can serve up some beat downs.
      * Wish AW would bring back Afobe in a swap with Wellbeck or Theo goin the other way.
      *Would have been KooL if we had taken that 40mil for Jack.

  7. 1) Everytime i watch the Cl finale which we have lost i die a bit. One of the sadest moments during my childhood.

    2) When i play fifa at home i do bring Aguero at Arsenal and send Giroud to some random dutch club where i think he belongs. That much he gets into my nerves when i see him missing chances and then him smirking around and pulling his tongou out.

    3) I wonder sometimes if Hunters would mistake Mertesecker in the savanna for a Giraffe and shoot him?

    3) Santi is such a nice guy but he looks like the pinguin from batman returns. danny devito or whatever his name is, you no, lol?

    4) I cant wait for the day Wenger retires to see how the Akb lunatics would react to it.

    5). I still like Van persie and wish the best for him. Him losing was very unfernate but i dont blame him but i rather blame the club and manager for making him betray us.

    6) Wenger is such a troll but i do like him anyway. Like a family member you cant stand at times but like him anyway bec he always wants the best for you even though he loses it so often and makes mistakes.

    7) i think that we will never win the Cl under Wenger and Stan. The epl is also tricky.

    8) I think that Arsenal alongside liverpool fans do top in having the most deluded supporters in the world.

    9) I dont trust Ramsey, as i know that from nature he is very selfish and will betray us the moment he will get the chance too. ( i have never been proved wrong for such things).

    10. I feel sad for Fabregas and would bench even one of my fav player to see him play again for us. He left us, but what could he do, his homeplace was crazy about him cming back so he had no other choice. In the end he was used like a used condom and shipped away.

    1. 2) LOL but not nice.

      4) I think many “AKBs” are looking forward as well – to see what the AOBs say next. I expect it will still be Wenger’s fault 10 years after he goes 🙂

    2. No3, a thought worth holding onto, but I fear he would dodge the bullet. During each transfer window I wish that Wenger would stop telling us about all the players he “nearly” signed. And I also wonder when his English is going to improve and if he will stop telling his players how tired they are.

  8. i was once got bitten by a squirrel, two days later i was dumped by my girl an arsenal lost to man u 8-2…

    that fecking squirrel was cursed! CURSED I TELLS YA’

  9. Am secretly wishing all these last nights and tonights Twitter rumors about Benzema to Arsenal are true,but am pretending i don’t care in front of Chelsea and Man U fans,just to avoid the shame if it doesn’t happen.

  10. 1) i wish Metro could be taken to court for the players They link us to,ridiculuos
    2)owen must be killed
    3)BFG must be a sub,Kos and Gab to start
    4)usmanov to take ova
    5)walcot to stop whining about being the #9,he is clearly a winger,a good one
    6) think wenger is the best manager out there

  11. Ok my secret:

    I f@ck dead people. Not miners but the attractive ones.

    On point 1. Scholes has to be the most boring pundit and human being ever (bar none). But what a superb footballer!

    Nice article! Kudos.

  12. This is @Muffdiver’s dream article for commenting on, and I must say he’s doing fairly well per mertesacker

    sorry, per usual***

  13. 1. Mourinho annoys gooners but they secretly wish he’s Arsenal manager
    2. I wish Zinedine Zidane will come out of retirement and give us one more season
    3. I think Arsene should have signed Agbonlahor in the past. He doesn’t score plenty but he’s terrifying in full flow
    4. I miss Andrei Arshavin. Could have been one of our all time greats 🙁
    5. I agree with many of Owen’s views on Arsenal 😛

      1. On 1, Maybe now that we have money he could be good but he is still one of the most annoying of people in the game. The man has no class ..a winner all the same.
        On 4, Arshavin, maybe playing in a team that can carry a passenger but not for Arsenal and Mourinho would not give the soviet a second look ..not even time of day. I was glad when we sold him.
        On 5, How the hell can you agree with him, he just said that Alexis Sanchez would not get into Chelsea’s team. For me Sanchez was better than Hazard last season and I know it’s not bias at work. Owen is just a jumped up little argument starter trying to get noticed by ridiculing Arsenal at every opportunity.

        1. Hazard was better than Sanchez last season in my opinion. He has fewer flaws in his game. Like Cazorla, he’s almost technically perfect.

  14. For me to be the next owner of our club and plough the profits back into the team. Success makes money = happy fans 🙂

  15. Dare I say it less articles about Chelsea on this site. Few that feels better with everything off my chest. Great therapy thanks Jason 🙂

    1. Did you know, that it’s a statistical fact that people in Chelsea are the least likely to piss on you if you happen to be on fire?


  16. (1) Well, myself ..I think Arsene pushing Mourinho over was one of the most comical moments I’ve ever seen during a football game.
    (2) Also, I don’t think it suits G Neville when he starts to talk as if he was one of the hard men of football, he looks and sounds like he was a swat/twat in the classroom.
    (3) I still cringe whenever I see Henry and Pires attempting that penalty.
    (4) I miss A Gray commentating on sky sports.

  17. I confess I think Tomas Rosicky has the technical ability to be a striker, (think 3rd goal AFC 5-Spurs 2.)

  18. Ha….brilliant…

    What a privilege….

    I obligingly bear my thoughts:

    NO 1. I often ponder on the real possibility of the glorious and triumphant status associated with AFC today, assuming we indeed had a competent manager over the period of the past decade.

    Well… least I’m consoled in the fact that upon yet more failure, the disgraced clown of a manager will be left demonstrably red-faced having exhausted all excuses and perhaps seek to do the needful–pack his bags for the next flight to France–for we shall resist/reject any calls for a renewed contract for such a faux notion of a manager.


  19. Great article, Jason for president!
    No but seriously, this idea was great, you should do it like on a regular basis once a month and with a specific topic.

  20. Ok here the secrets
    1. I sometimes hate Gibbs for when he slipped and allowed Park to score and beat us to that final v Barza in 08 or 09. (and also Wenger for gettin Gibs that early into that stage)

    2. I think we deserved that trophy in 06

    3. For when the years before Roman i still kind of dont hate Chelsea much,and I kid of like Roman cause hes a football fan. (ManUre I hate with all my forcé though).

    4. I hate Cesc RvP. cause I believed they would stay no matter what.

    5. And related to that, I envy Chelsea for Drogba, that despite that UCL loss, stayed and delivered the trophy..and THEN left.

    6. I wanted Drogba to be our striker…so damn good.

    7. i still hurt for that 8-2

    8. I wish Jens would manage Arsenal one day

    9. I dream of a year that Arsenal win the ucl and the Rams the superbowl and then Stan throws a helluva party and they do a speial tv game available for free.

    10. I secretly wish Arsene reads my comments ….i did write a lot when Giroud was top scorer in France …but earlier i wrote about Agüero and he wasnt bought when he was in Aleti.

    Ah so many..i will come up wirth more hahahah

  21. 1) All the respect for Wenger but he’s the worst tactician in the entire EPL.
    2) Secretly wish we had owners more like Abramovich and Sheik Mansur that actually care about the success of their clubs
    3) Miss Highbury.
    4) Hate Chelsea way more than Spuds.
    5) Wish Viera would leave f*cking City and come home to AFC.
    6) Think Wenger only allows Steve Bould to speak only one during a match (never see them discussing anything!)
    7) Wish Henry was our striker coach.
    8) Wonder if Wenger knows how closely he resembles Mr. Bean

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