Former Arsenal star, Paul Merson, has revealed how he gambled away the deposit he needed for a family house as he struggled with the addiction.
An addiction to gambling and alcohol has plagued the Englishman’s life and he has been working to become a better person.
He revealed in a recent interview how he hated himself after trying to win cash to buy a house for his family, but he lost the money in a gamble.
He had been afraid of loss of earnings because of the coronavirus pandemic last year and gambled to win cash to deposit for the house.
However, he lost it all and said he couldn’t tell his wife at first. Days after losing the money, he would look his kids in their faces and hate himself for gambling away their security.
He even contemplated suicide and he said he didn’t like the idea of his wife putting him on a budget at first, but he is now thankful, as it stops him from gambling money recklessly.
He said as quoted by Sun Sports: “I lost it all. I lost everything. I didn’t tell Kate at first.
“For the next week or so, I used to look at the kids and I used to hate myself with a passion.
“I thought, ‘I just want to kill myself. How did you do that? How could you take their security?’”.
On being given an allowance by his wife, he added: “I was resentful at first, like, ‘How dare you? I’m over 50 years of age’. I’m more than happy now.
“When I stopped drinking I took all the drink out of the house. Why not with gambling?”