No Arsenal game? Let’s take the pee out of Tottenham!

Okay this is a very boring week, but we are now ABSOLUTELY sure that we are going to finish in the Top Four and Tottenham have NO CHANCE. In fact they will be lucky to even make the Mickey Mouse Thursday Cup, Soooo…. as we have to wait until the weekend to see Arsenal play, so I think its about time we had some new Tottenham jokes to cheer us up. I will start off with a few old favourites…

“I met this really kinky girl last night. ‘Humiliate me,’ she said … So I bought her a Tottenham shirt!”
A young boy goes to social services and tells them he has nowhere to live. “What about your parents?” asks the social worker. “No, they beat me,” says the boy. “What about your grandparents?” says the social worker. “No, they beat me even harder!” says the boy. “Well … where do you want to stay then?” replies the social worker. “Tottenham,” says the boy. “They don’t beat anyone.

Many moons ago when I was at school, two of my mates were Spurs supporters. They would go to White Hart Lane and wait for about ten minutes after kick off and climb over the wall. One Saturday a policeman caught them and he made them go back in and watch the rest of the game!

A man was found dead floating in the Thames, wearing a blond wig, full make-up, bra, knickers, suspenders and a Spurs shirt. Before informing the next of kin the police removed the Spurs shirt to save the family embarrassment.

Q. What do you have when Tottenham fans are buried up to their neck in sand?
A. Not enough sand.
Q. You’re locked in a room with a lion, a crocodile, and a Yid.
You have a gun with 2 bullets. What should you do?
A. Shoot the Spurs Fan – twice.
Q. Why do Tottenham fans plant potatoes round the edge of their gardens?
A. So they have something to lift at the end of the season!
Q. A car full of Tottenham fans drive over a cliff! Why is that bad?
A. You can only fit 7 in a car.

And to finish it off you REALLY need to watch this video from a couple of years ago when Arsenal finished above Spurs AGAIN! Hitler was NOT happy! I may have had a couple of beers too many but I still can’t stop laughing out loud at this….

Please feel free to add your own anti-Spuds jokes in the comments….

Tags Hitler joke Tottenham jokes


  1. Greg says:

    “Forever in our shadow”! Coyg!

  2. Greg says:

    You Really got to feel it for spurs supporters! Imagine your club badge is a “chicken”! Sad indeed!

  3. Greg says:

    At least one thing spurs fans can lift at the end of the season to make them feel better! A bucket of KFC! Let me rephrase that ” white fart lane fried chicken”!

  4. Mick The Gooner says:

    No Arsenal game? We’re playing Burnley. They’re no walkover, as Tottenham themselves found out last week. As I said yesterday, the stakes for this game couldnt be higher. If we lose to Burnley, Chelsea have a chance of winning the title at the Emirates later this month. We must win at all costs.

  5. Hafiz Rahman says:

    if we stop spending on quality and they start spending on quality…they will be on top of us….

    no complacency!!

    1. josh37 says:

      like the window they spent 100mil and we had a positive net transfer??

  6. cheeterspotter says:

    Kindergarten column.. Let’s not scrape the barrel with tosser jokes..Oops, forgot myself.

  7. truegunner12 says:

    Erm don’t we play Burnley?
    I just don’t get it some times. We think other teams can drop points at the relegation teams but we won’t. Burnley went to Chelsea and got a draw. Took 4 points from City including a win at Turf Moor, drew with Spurs at Turf Moor, beat Southampton at Turf Moor, drew with United at Turf Moor.

    Burnley are no pushovers especially at home. Let’s focus.

  8. ButtFlaps says:

    We must not misunderestimate Burnly!!! Same team and same levels when we PLAYED Liverpools!!!

  9. tissiam says:

    one of your jokes is not funny!let you guess which one!!

  10. sanmi.marvellous says:

    Burnley is a banana’s peel. we should not be complacent !!!

Comments are closed

Top Blog Sponsors
JustArsenal Top Ten UK Blogs