Wenger causes world Zombie meltdown!

Day One by Wizardly

September 1 2016
“DO NOT OPEN. DEAD INSIDE”. As Sheriff Rick Somebody stared at these words written in blood on a door trying to comprehend what has happened, he realized that the hospital gown he had on was too short for him and soon his short p*nis would become even shorter. So he decided to go to his home and find his pants and ridiculous hat. And that led him to think about where his family had gone.

September 1, 2015
When Arsene Wenger decided not to sign any one during transfer deadline day, little did he know that he had sealed mankind’s fate once and for all. In fact, when you think about it, no one could have anticipated the twitter meltdown which caused the internet to crash all over the world which somehow caused power failure, the stocks to plummet…etc. Long story short a secret government lab in the US can’t contain an accidental exposure to a weaponized virus by one of their staff members, which leads to people calling zombies, walkers just to sound original and all.

Whether Arsene Wenger was right or wrong remains to be seen. But this transfer window has turned the most loyal AKB’s into WOB’s. And maybe, just maybe, Arsene may get some of his fans back after a few consecutive performances (and some Tim Stillman articles). Until then Arsene will stay as the villain.
Going to some other stuff, the transfer mayhem has completely overshadowed some things which shouldn’t have been overlooked like ooooooooooosssspppppppppppiiiiinnnaaa’s birthday or the fact that Bellerin got his first international call up. Too bad prince Poldi isn’t here to bake a cake for David. In fact, he was the most expensive baker in London. A hundred thousand per week I believe it was if I’m not mistaken. Well that’s all from me now.

Until next time @wizardry says goodbye.

ADMIN COMMENT – I had to read it four times before it all clicked into place!. One of the weirdest transfer stories I’ve ever read….

Tags Bellerin Wenger


  1. ”premier league spending reach £1bn” i ges we are nt included,we wr even bidding for Zaza at the last minute haha Wenger thot he wud pull a Welbeck at the last minute once again! 🙂

  2. Wenger’s given me insomnia…. TBH A striker might’ve been more difficult, even then i heard that PSG were willing to sell, but Wenger wanted a discount, but a DM is the big problem, as we could’ve been without Coq for a prolonged period due to a possible red card, and then in the Newcastle game, a serious injury. To have not strengthened in that area when we had 2 months to do so, is negligent bordering on the insane. If this comes back to bite Wenger he can be assured that he won’t get much sympathy from the fans.

    1. @gmv8 Cheer up mate. At least this time the club has absolutely no excuses for not winning the EPL or champions league. Wenger has to deliver or leave.

  3. if wenger has so Much faith in these group of players then they better win either champs league by fluke or premiership by magic.But if they don’t ppl in London should stop watching games at the emirates until Wenger resigns.A man who has 20 yrs of experience has no plan no urgency no will to bring a quality cf when a team is not scoring a goal.How can he be so effing dumb to move for a player in last two days,when he should have been pursuing players before pre season.BTW olivier giroud isn’t gonna win us the league. come end of season many players are gonna leave for greener pastures except giroud Wenger and ozil. we have become a laughing stock of the footballing world.

    1. You think wenger ACTUALLY cares about winning anything?? he just cares about 4th place and the FA cup as a bonus. He’ll never win the league not even talk of the champs league till he retires.

  4. 18 players were either sold or loaned out & we signed only cech 312/w wages cleared all for what/whom stan kroenke ?

    wenger says he will sign special players if draxler/vidal/kyrchowaik aren’t special then I don’t know what is

    1. Draxler eh. Vidal special but did we want him with Ramsey Cazorla and wilshere vying for the CM spot? Kyrchowiak I would’ve loved but would it be smart to shell out £21m for a “sub”?

      1. ‘As a sub”?? Christ you Coquelin fanboys need to hop off his coq. Are you trying to say he’s not an upgrade over coq? Look at you guys talking like he’s the best DM in the world or something.

      2. Please it gets more irritating counting Wilshere as one of our midfielders. Just how many matches does he play for us per season? He is never there! He is nothing better than a little upgrade on Diabi.

    2. Leo – if u are going to include youth players in your numbers for departure, then you have to include youth players in arrivals.

      Therefore the actual numbers of players sold or Loaned out is actually 23 (although a couple of those are only until January) The actual number of players brought in is 15, cech, Bennacer and reine-adelaide are all professionals, whilst another 12 are 1st year scholars though many of those will become young professionals this season.

      However, don’t take my response as one of support for wenger, I am so livid, that last night I accepted an offer to sell my season. If another much wants to pay me more than I have paid for the experience of watching arsenal struggle at home, then who am I to stand in his way. I will continue watching away matches live, but home games will now be watched either at home or in the pubs around the ground, with fellow disgusted gooners.

      There is 3 spaces in our 25 man squad, that needed filling and in arteta, flamini and rosicky we have 3 old men that are simply no longer at the level required, either pace wise or fitness wise. Then there is Joel campbell, who wenger himself clearly does not rate, eventhough he claims he does. If it wasn’t for bellerin and chambers, who are both 2 seasons off from needing to be named in the 25 man squad, then our 25 man squad is basically 18 players.

      Plus U21s
      And also rans

      That is pretty much the depth of our squad, we cannot really claim to even have a 3rd keeper as none of the back ups have made an appearance yet. There are one or two more u21s that are going to have to see first action this season, the likes of moore, bielik, pleguezuelo, oconnor, kamara, Bennacer, iwobi and reine-adelaide look sure to join Macey and iliev in competing to make up the numbers, especially after our usually injury ravaged squad returns from international break, but hey don’t worry, after a bruising from Stoke, we only have 4 away games against Zagreb, spurs, Chelsea and Leicester to deal with, 3 defeats there could see our season resting on the fa cup again and we won’t even be in October!!!!

    3. @leo Krychowiak and gotze were available at some point. but Wenger didn’t want them. I guess we will have to Wait and see. that’s all an Arsenal fan is good for. waiting.
      Well at least there were no rumours of us signing Solomon kalou this transfer window.

  5. back in 2005-06 wenger made a big mistake in letting the likes of pires/gilberto/Campbell/viera should have never been allowed to leave they could have easily played for another 5-6 years
    henry himself said the emergence of fabregas made wenger abandon the physical style & he started building his squad around midgets to play tiki taka

    1. keeping faith in young payers & developing them (for others of course) arsenal were getting ruined not to mention overpaying squallaci/djorou/denilson/almunia/diaby/bendtner were all on 50+/w & making poor signings because he realized we needed experience like Silvestre/squallacinator/santos when we should have kept our legends

  6. people will give excuse about new stadium/no money but people like klopp/simmeone have proved it
    yes BVB finished 7th last season but most of their key players were out injured like gundogan (for 434 days) & likes of sahin ,Hummels, Reus,Blaszczykowski,schmelzer ,subotic + they lost lewandowski/gotze they finished 15 points from 4th spot while we finished 12 points behind chelski
    give klopp around 80-90 to spend at arsenal & he will take us to next level with wenger it’s impossible

    1. Hahaha so when our players are hurt its an excuse but when it’s another team that’s the sole reason they didn’t perform. You lot are so funny and just so you know klopp was getting fired at the end of the season.

      1. Agreed mate. I don’t get it! How they can act as though someone would bring instant success against the likes of City and Chelsea instantly when he finished 33pts off Bayern and all his incoming transfers last season were incredibly underwhelming!!
        People cite 4 or 5 players who he’s turned world-class and neglect the many, many players Wenger’s brought through with roughly the same budget!

          1. Ergh… I really hate those responses. Don’t throw your predictions at me as though they’re fact. If anyone has an opinion contrary to you’re own it’s ‘well, you must be content with fourth…’ childish.
            Not at all, we’ve lost one game. One. If there was a decision to make a managerial change it should have happened end of last season. Not a month in. I’m all for a change in management if it’s a positive one. But at this stage of the season, the squad we have and looking forward to the rest of the season. Yes, Wenger is the man forward for this season. If you think Pep, Klopp, Simeone bleh any one of the managers that get put on a pedestal could come in at this stage of the season and beat the likes of City and Chelsea it’s pure delusion.

    2. oh no! I didn’t realize klopp had injuries to deal with!
      We had a clean bill of health from Koscielny, Giroud, Ramsey, Wilshere, Theo, Ox, Arteta and Ozil…
      Yeah he did lose lewi. And he brought in Immobile and that other guy for roughly the same money we spent on Sanchez… 5 bundesliga goals between them.
      Klopp would be a fantastic successor. I would love to see him take over. But there is absolutely no point making a snap decision when we are pretty far from struggling. He’s taking some time off. Good. If he is going to succeed Wenger give him six or so months working behind the scenes, give him time to get to know the squad, work with the players and formulate a plan that works with his philosophy.
      That point tally you’ve given is incredibly deceiving. Bundesliga is a lot more top heavy than the PL so comparing them to 4th spot as opposed to the difference between us and Chelsea is utterly ridiculous. They finished 2nd the season prior they should’ve been challenging. They finished 33pts off the league leaders. THAT should be what you’re comparing!!

      I really rate Klopp, don’t get me wrong. But a new league, a new squad. There will almost definitely be a bedding in period. The 4th place trophy joke gets thrown around a lot. But have a look at the Liverpool’s, the Tottenham’s and what happens when you fail to have CL to offer. Wenger may be a tightarse. But how many of you actually think that Kroenke and Co. would fully back Klopp in the market if he failed to deliver CL football which is a very, very large possibility in his hypothetical first season at the club?? Could also be the difference between keeping Cech, Sanchez, Ozil, Cazorla, Koscielny, Ramsey and others at the club….

      1. @ josh

        Honestly I don’t even know that I would want Klopp he would be a big risk but people seem to think he’s some god which I don’t get. In 7 years at Dortmund, he’s won 2 bundesliga titles and 1 dfb pokal and 1 CL final which is not that much given how not only top heavy the bundesliga is (like you said) but the “lesser” teams are a huge drop off in quality and take walloping’s on the regular unlike the premier league.

        Klopp has also shown he’s not tactically flexible, once teams started finding him out it was much easier to play against them and he had no plan b. He immediately jumped ship once things didn’t go well. He lost 2 stars in 2 years and it showed how much klopp relied on them so for me he’d be a risk.

        And honestly man I think we can challenge with the squad we have, we have a very strong starting xl and I think we can go toe to toe with the best in the league. We legitimately challenged when we only bought Ozil and since then we’ve added players like sanchez, cech, coq, gabriel, welbeck, plus given monreal, bellerin, Ozil, cazorla’s form I feel we have what it takes to compete. But its all on wenger I don’t think I would be able to defend him if we don’t challenge

  7. Let’s get it over with and hope that the 1st 3 games will be a small sample of something that will not be consistent over the course of the season…Like Ramsey said let’s see in 10 games or so and see where they are not only in the table but also the way they play…disappointed in the way we manage the transfer window but this team can do great things let’s see how far they go & how much magic can Wenger work with the belief he has in the players enough not to buy somebody except Cech…

    1. Exactly! Wenger better have had long hard chats with Ramsey, Wilshere, Ox, Theo, Welbeck and Giroud. We could have clearly done with an extra midfielder and an attacking re-enforcement. But the faith he’s showing in these players is either going to be founded or not. If the last few seasons have shown me anything, sometimes his faith in players surprises 99.9% of fans when they come through. (Ramsey, Coquelin, Bellerin, Theo)
      Anyone who’s actually watched these players surely know’s that they’re capable of brilliant performances. Consistency is what needs to be found, and pretty quickly because the City train is showing no signs of slowing down. Cazorla, Ozil and Sanchez in our attacking six is nothing to shake a stick at. Add Coquelin performing well and we need two other pieces to perform.
      If it’s going to be Giroud he needs to establish himself more… Consistently, and in more big games. He’s never going to dance through the opposition so we need more physical assertion. He needs to be a massive handful for the CB’s for both himself and space for others to work.
      Whoever’s on the right needs to score, create or penetrate. I’m not as the majority seem to be that Ramsey can’t do a job there. Should’ve been the difference vs Liverpool, was huge against Chelsea in the community shield and contributes all over the pitch. Ox is a joy to watch, but highlight reel aside, Ramsey’s actually quite good out there.
      And Sanchez…. Well we need some goals you beautiful thing you!!! He’s dodged criticism from the majority of fans, but he’s missed some sitters.
      Despite playing as badly as we have been we’re still creating loads of chances. A few of our attackers gaining a bit of confidence and we can be a different team entirely…

  8. I see it now, Wenger saying that the return of Danny Welbeck and Joel Campbell will be like new signings. Flamini has a lot to offer. Per is the best centre back in the league. This squad has quality.

    1. Ahh sarcasm! Brilliant!
      And if someone had said to you start of the last season Coquelin (the 23y.o. struggling to get a game at Charlton) and Bellerin (the 19y.o in our u21’s) would’ve had the seasons that had what would your reaction have been?? Or the season before that Ramsey was going be one of the top midfielders in the league?? But by all means… Keep writing our players off

      1. Be optimistic all you want, but welbeck IS NOT a 20 goals a season striker. he scored 4 in 25 last season. Campbell has an average spell at villareal just 6 months ago and you think he’ll get to aguero season overnight?
        Face it, we’ll at best come 3rd place. Thats it.
        Nobody in their right minds will see us as title favorites.

  9. Its a shame really if arsenal don’t perform well in these early months and our title chances are fading i actually hope Wenger resigns himself rather than people asking for his head. just don’t want people being relived and laughing at the prospect og him leaving because he had done so much good for the club.He should know when to step down younger coaches with fresher ideas are running top clubs. And the reason he didn’t go all out for a striker has got something to do with him wasting 18 million pounds on danny welbeck.That was his mistake as well.Out of his recent signings only sanchez is worth note. Ozil and welbeck are 60 million pounds wasted for nothing.And he pins too much hope on average players like giroud.Average players don’t win you leagues. So frustrated i just wanna hit someone.Its like we don’t want to win the league when one or two players could make us a force. These players better work their asses off as if there is no tommorow cause come the end of season and we don’t win anything i foresee riots and protests at emirates

    1. Meh. Ozil’s first season was underwhelming, except the way he played last season and the beginning of this season has been pretty far from it. The central position is his and he’s becoming more and more involved, not just flashes of brilliance. Writing him off as a waste of money is pretty daft in my eyes, but everyone’s entitled to their opinion. Especially comparatively to some of the other massive purchases in the league (Di Maria, Torres). Personally, I think he’s primed for a huge season if he can stay fit.
      Welbeck’s a squad player who’s had one season with us. Relax! Writing a player off after one season is pretty crazy if you ask me.
      Agreed though. The faith Wenger has put in this squad will either be a master-stroke or the end of his career with us. Not bringing in anyone with massive funds available to him has piled pressure on this squad to perform to expectations. Anything short of a title challenge will be on his head. Except I will not join in the people who are suggesting it’s over before it’s even started.

      1. Plus, he off loaded 18 players, and added just 4 or 5 players (Cech, Adelaide, and some kids) in totals.

        1. The kids were for the youth squad. We have 6 or 7 of our kids in the lower league who the majority of have won over their respective fans in a matter of 3 or 4 games so we pretty obviously needed some players to step in. Re-stocking the academy was going to be a priority and I doubt there’s any shortage in talented kids out there who wouldn’t want to play in our academy.
          We are actually deep though. People seem to neglect this. Defence we’re pretty stacked. DM’s an issue but Arteta’s not nearly as hopeless as people suggest, especially when Ramsey was playing beside him. And attack…. Yeah well, it’s up for debate. He’s put his full faith in the players, so let’s see. Ramsey, Giroud, Sanchez, Ox, Theo all have the capabilities to heat up. It’s been pretty underwhelming so far. As has all the top teams bar City.

          1. Have you watched the U21 highlights though?? JRA seems the real deal. I’m not going to build it up, but still. Physically waaaaaay above the majority of 17y.o.’s confident, talented and intelligent. Could surprise earlier than expected.

        2. He has offloaded 11 permanently but none of those were starting x1 and many were kids and he also sent 12 on loan, though many of those were kids and none were starting x1.

          He has actually brought in 15, one who is starting x1 and the rest are kids.

          He has improved our starting x1, by adding cech over ospina and our bench is improved by ospina being there instead of Szczesney.

          As for the actual first team squad he permanently released or sold and has replaced. We are looking at diaby and ryo They have been replaced by Bennacer and reine-adelaide, I don’t think either of the new boys will do any worse than those 2 have done over the last 2 seasons. However, podolski has not been replaced, which is the biggest loss of the players that left, a player that started 2 matches last season.

          However, as I stated earlier, he should have filled the 25 man squad at the very least, to only have 22 is a crime, especially when 4 of those are arteta, flamini, rosicky and campbell.

          In January his excuse will be the players he wants are cup-tied in the champions league, but can you really see us actually being in it at that time? I am certain he will rest players for the spurs clash, whilst they won’t, thus putting our place in the league cup in jeopardy again. Whilst by the time we face man United at home in October, we could be so far behind man City that we will be in a worse position than we was last season at that stage namely 12 points behind man City. Man City a team who finished above us last season, and have strengthened by spending £173m!!!!

        1. Why? Because I have an opinion different to your own? Or the fact that now the window’s over I’m optimistic that the players we have can achieve things??

          Or should I whinge and moan like yourself, slate Wenger and regurgitate what others are saying as if it’s the only possible outcome for this season?

  10. Why are u guys surprised, last season he was in vatican city on deadline day, just shows u how retarded arsene has become. i just pity the gullible ones that will pay for tickets next year.

  11. Simply unbelievable, AW just buy the ticket for his last ride. Still hope the best for Arsenal however.

  12. Wenger refused to pay 50 M for cavani.

    its like it is his money…and we desparately needed a CF you stupid old man.

    where is jurgen klopp???
    after we fail to win epl this season…old man resigns klopp takes over.

  13. Now I understand that Arsenal cannot win the PLG. It is a simple logic compare Aguro, Costa, Rooney even Benteke with our strikers GIROUD and WELBECK. Again the 12th disappointing season to come.

    1. Goals after 4 games and a lot of chances created:

      Aguero : 1
      Costa : 1
      Rooney : 0
      Benteke : 1 (which wasn’t called offside)

      Your point being?

      1. Aguero- 1 in 2 games
        Giroud- 1 in 3.
        SO YEAH.
        Oh and giroud in 3 season has not scored more than 16, Costa scores 20 in his first season.
        So yes giroud is not in Aguero and Costa’s league.

  14. Wenger and Arsenal board cheated the fans. I self-respectful man would have been able to face the fans after this. Totally classless

  15. And arsenal fan talking about man utd buying a 19yr old for 36 million is a blunder is very laughable. What if he had become much improved player this season, big clubs would have lined up for him and his evaluation would have reached 50 million plus and if madrid or barca would have wanted him there was no chance of man utd getting him.Yes he could fail but still he would have resale value as he is young.They could always sell him.And man utd aren’t stupid to buy him for that much unless he is that good. They have strengthened where it is required.They can’t get world class striker they bought a potential world class striker, that’s the only way. Whereas we have stuck with olivier giroud as for 3 or 4 years wenger can’t find a better striker than him. We cant buy them young.cant buy them when they are world class,only hoping for some other factors would help us land a big name like player not getting play time.Either we are a big club or we are a fodder club.

    1. He could’ve bought Draxler who was said to play like young RVP. He could’ve tried buying Gotze and use him as false 9 when strikers can’t get a goal. He could’ve gone all out for Reus who admired Rosicky and plays on the LW then we could’ve shifted Sanchez to no9 and Walcoot back to the RW where he f***ing belongs ! The fact that he didn’t attempt going for these players basically tells me he’s happy to settle for mediocrity when transfers don’t go his way which is SHAMEFUL for a club aiming to have Bayern’s stature.

    2. Your point is correct that he can be a good player but at the same time when Arsenal brings some unproven young player thn you are behind the life of Wenger…. My only point is trust on our boys. Now we can’t do anything apart from supporting our lovely club.

  16. My only regret of this window is that Man Utd still has De Gea, the only person who can provide stability to Utd defense. This season not only we need consistency from our boys in fact we need other top 5-6 teams to keep dropping points here and there. The only way to survive this season is to stay behind the boys and our club. Cheer up guys it’s not end of the world. GunnerForLife 🙂

  17. Arsene Wenger/Wenja…. Unbelievable old man.. Maybe he knows something we don’t… Wenger be like…. why buy players for Klopp… He will hev to do it himself when he comes in….

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