Who still believes in Santa Claus and transfer rumours?

Sorry Santa, I don’t believe in you. by Charles Veritie

Do you believe in horror scopes?
Do you believe in Father Christmas?
Do you believe in the Easter Bunny?
Do you believe in the Man in the Moon?
Do you believe the Moon is red? *
Do you believe the Earth is flat?

*This Friday night 27th July 2018, in some parts of the world, red will be seen on the moon. Check the Royal Astronomy’s website for full details.

One day my boss so surprised me that for a few moments I believed what she said.

She said:
“ Rumour has it that you are a Jehovah’s Witness.”

I was so stunned at the thought of my being this that I began questioning myself as to what I had said or done that gave the impression that I was. Then, it sunk in, she had begun with “Rumour”.

Therefore I hadn’t done anything to suggest I was.

It was an idea from somewhere else.

Rumours are always, always started by person/s unknown.

We talked about this for a few minutes and then I asked my boss:

“Who says that I am a Jehovah’s Witness?”

She said ‘I can’t tell you that it is confidential.’

A rumour, ‘Confidential! Ugh!’

I asked, ‘Since when has a rumour been ‘confidential’?

There was laughter and I didn’t get to ask my second question.

Those who believe in rumours will argue in favour of their belief by saying something like this:

The rumour that Abbe Abbe was coming to Arsenal was true.’

In any transfer window there are over a hundred Arsenal transfer rumours, to get one or even two right doesn’t mean we should believe in rumours.

Just because your horror scope gets something right doesn’t convince you to believe in horror scopes does it?

Mirror, mirror on the wall
What’s the next rumour for Arsenal?

“Arsenal fan, Arsenal fan, why don’t you?
Show the readers what you can do.

Write of a player that could move to you.
Just chose a clue form the list I give you

Any one can write a rumour even you.
All these phrases say ‘Not true, not true.’

But some fan Arsenal will believe your rumour true.
When all the time you haven’t a clue!”

“There have been reports of………. “ Write your rumour here.

“Arsenal are reportedly closing in on…….” Write your rumour here.

“The British tabloid has also reported……..” Write your rumour here.

“Shock move for….” Write your rumour here.

“ It is claimed……..” Write your rumour here.

“It is being widely reported, even in respected papers……” Write your rumour here.

Arsenal are reportedly closing in on………..” Write your rumour here.

“It is understood…………” Write your rumour here.

“We understand……….” Write your rumour here.

“Arsenal fans are demanding………” Write your rumour here.

I encourage you to write your own rumour.

If you want to spice things up a bit, write one about a problem spuds are supposedly having with the building of their new spudhole and place it on a spuds blog site like this one. That might take the boredom out of rumours for a while.

Charles Veritie


  1. Tas says:

    Charles the tooth ferry told me not to belive you Santa is real and he wears red and white

    1. Declan says:

      It was Coca Cola who changed Santa’s colour to red and white from green and white. This is true and not a rumour.

  2. jon fox says:

    Oh dear! What a waste of a brain and of our time. Next topic straightaway please, Mr. Admin.

  3. Andrew E says:

    What’s a horror scope?

    1. Eddie Hoyte says:

      Andrew what kind of question is that? you mean you don’t know the scope we all make use of while watching horror films?

  4. Eddie Hoyte says:

    Geez, what a waste of time.. I bet now I could also write The 26 alphabets, submit it and it’ll get posted on here right? I’ve been busy this week and missed a few posts, so I log on tonight and this is the post I see, Lol.. Admin you’re doing a great job, what happens to filtering each posts?

  5. Mig says:

    It’s a device for finding horror

  6. Eddie Hoyte says:

    Andrew what kind of question is that? you mean you don’t know the scope we all make use of while watching horror films?

  7. barryglik says:

    Unai Emery sacks Steve Bould
    and appoints top assistant
    rumored to be Allan Pardew.
    Arsenal new home kit leaked
    White shirts and blue shorts and white socks.
    Aubameyang and Ozil in straight swap for dynamic
    Tottenham duo Fernando Llorente and Vincent Jansen.
    Figueirense to exchange 35 year old Andre Santos for Saed Kolaasinac.
    Gunners set to announce the return of DM rock Abou Diarby.
    Lacazette in shock exchange for former Arsenal great Gervais Lombe Yao Kouassi.
    Paul Gascoigne appointed fitness and lifestyle management coach.

    1. jon fox says:

      For God’s sake barryglik, don’t dignify this idiot article writer by doing as he asks. Next topic, NOW , please Mr Admin and while you are at , stop this person submitting amy more nonsense. This site is becoming a laughing stock with “articles” like this!

      1. Ken1945 says:

        Jon, did you see my question to you on the Usmanov share report?
        Would like your input preferably on there than this dribble!

        1. Phil says:

          Hi Ken-I’m not 100% certain but did the Board not vote to reverse the rule that previously gave anybody the right to sit on the Board of Directors IF they had a stake holding of 30%?I believe this is what happened but not sure exactly why or how they were able to alter a rule that was no doubt a legal requirement.

          1. Ken1945 says:

            Hi Phil, if that’s the ruling that I am querying.
            If what we believe is true, then that puts the onus on the current board to reverse that decision IF they see Kronkie owning 90% plus of the club doesn’t it?
            It was purely done to keep Usmanov of the board and that seems to be the catalyst for him selling his shares, it is rumoured, to Kronkie

          2. barryglik says:

            Lighten up people .
            It’s all fun.
            Lets not be serious all the time.
            We will have 50 games to get all deadly serious.
            By the way Sanogo and Asano are set to lead the line
            v Man Sheiky on opening day 🙂

          3. Declan says:

            I’m more interested in this Abbé Abbé fella coming to Arsenal. Is he on YouTube?

        2. jon fox says:

          Sorry, Ken I did not see it. Can’t find the thread , so where is it please?

  8. Midkemma says:

    Who is naive enough to believe in rumors?
    BTW… Who said Santa isn’t real? LIES!

    1. Phil says:

      Kev says we are being closely linked with Santa and will be buying him in the January Transfer Window.Apparently he has a contract up until 25th December and then he is free to sign.With a couple of days rest he could be ready for the New Years Day fixture.Bloke down the pub told him so it MUST be true.????????

  9. Sue says:

    Christ that was some article ?

    1. Ken1945 says:

      Sue, wait till you see my try at season ticket prices!!
      This article will seem like a walk in the park!!

      1. Sue says:

        I’m sure I won’t lose interest in yours Ken…. it’ll make sense for a start!!

  10. Robin Vanpayslip says:

    I don’t know about santa but I can tell you regarding the day that changed my life.

    I was awoken by the bright light through the window of my studio apartment. As I woke up and walked towards the window in my crumpled dressing gown and spaghetti stained vest looking up at the sky. This celestial light became brighter until I was in a tuxedo with dopeass cufflinks and platinum locks that even Jesus would be jealous off.

    Then the door bell rang. Buy this time it was different. The sound was that of classical singers as opposed to everyday I’m hustling by Rick Ross. I am shaking, my palms sweating but I open the door. An angel hands me a package. I look at the angel in surprise but a mist appears and the angel disappears.

    I take this package to my IKEA chair but I see it has become a throne. I sit down and before me is a 50 ft long dining table in place of my 2 X 1 IKEA table. I wonder what is going on? Then the past, the present, the future and all realms in between present themselves to me. I sit astounded.

    I am about to ask why and a hand appears and prompts me to stay quiet. I look up and am prompted to open the envelope. I open it an see the message – M11 is coming. I fall of my chair, sorry throne.

    I run to my 21″ TV and notice it has become a 65″ OLED. I turn to sky sports to be greeted by the news Mesut has signed. I fall to my knees and a mythical figure on a chariot appears to tell me that it’s all over, Mesut has signed. We were all jubilant.

    Except for the bigots because he always played this way except it really is a shame on humanity that his only criticism was his ethnicity – a choice he never actually had yet was a loyal German regardless.

    1. jon fox says:

      Just getting seriously into your classic fable and finding it hugely enjoyable when you brought it to an abrupt, though truthful end. More please!

  11. ger burke. says:

    author !!!, how very dare you deny the very existence of my brother santa. i feel that i have been wounded beyond repair. how am i going to face my older brother tomorrow and tell him that some people dont believe in him anymore. there are some crazy articles on here from time to time , but i think the prize for the craziest must go to this author. i am just stunned.

Comments are closed