Sorry Santa, I don’t believe in you. by Charles Veritie
Do you believe in horror scopes?
Do you believe in Father Christmas?
Do you believe in the Easter Bunny?
Do you believe in the Man in the Moon?
Do you believe the Moon is red? *
Do you believe the Earth is flat?
*This Friday night 27th July 2018, in some parts of the world, red will be seen on the moon. Check the Royal Astronomy’s website for full details.
One day my boss so surprised me that for a few moments I believed what she said.
“ Rumour has it that you are a Jehovah’s Witness.”
I was so stunned at the thought of my being this that I began questioning myself as to what I had said or done that gave the impression that I was. Then, it sunk in, she had begun with “Rumour”.
Therefore I hadn’t done anything to suggest I was.
It was an idea from somewhere else.
Rumours are always, always started by person/s unknown.
We talked about this for a few minutes and then I asked my boss:
“Who says that I am a Jehovah’s Witness?”
She said ‘I can’t tell you that it is confidential.’
A rumour, ‘Confidential! Ugh!’
I asked, ‘Since when has a rumour been ‘confidential’?
There was laughter and I didn’t get to ask my second question.
Those who believe in rumours will argue in favour of their belief by saying something like this:
The rumour that Abbe Abbe was coming to Arsenal was true.’
In any transfer window there are over a hundred Arsenal transfer rumours, to get one or even two right doesn’t mean we should believe in rumours.
Just because your horror scope gets something right doesn’t convince you to believe in horror scopes does it?
Mirror, mirror on the wall
What’s the next rumour for Arsenal?
“Arsenal fan, Arsenal fan, why don’t you?
Show the readers what you can do.
Write of a player that could move to you.
Just chose a clue form the list I give you
Any one can write a rumour even you.
All these phrases say ‘Not true, not true.’
But some fan Arsenal will believe your rumour true.
When all the time you haven’t a clue!”
“There have been reports of………. “ Write your rumour here.
“Arsenal are reportedly closing in on…….” Write your rumour here.
“The British tabloid has also reported……..” Write your rumour here.
“Shock move for….” Write your rumour here.
“ It is claimed……..” Write your rumour here.
“It is being widely reported, even in respected papers……” Write your rumour here.
Arsenal are reportedly closing in on………..” Write your rumour here.
“It is understood…………” Write your rumour here.
“We understand……….” Write your rumour here.
“Arsenal fans are demanding………” Write your rumour here.
I encourage you to write your own rumour.
If you want to spice things up a bit, write one about a problem spuds are supposedly having with the building of their new spudhole and place it on a spuds blog site like this one. That might take the boredom out of rumours for a while.