Okay this is a very boring week, but we are now ABSOLUTELY sure that we are going to finish in the Top Four and Tottenham have NO CHANCE. In fact they will be lucky to even make the Mickey Mouse Thursday Cup, Soooo…. as we have to wait until the weekend to see Arsenal play, so I think its about time we had some new Tottenham jokes to cheer us up. I will start off with a few old favourites…
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“I met this really kinky girl last night. ‘Humiliate me,’ she said … So I bought her a Tottenham shirt!”
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A young boy goes to social services and tells them he has nowhere to live. “What about your parents?” asks the social worker. “No, they beat me,” says the boy. “What about your grandparents?” says the social worker. “No, they beat me even harder!” says the boy. “Well … where do you want to stay then?” replies the social worker. “Tottenham,” says the boy. “They don’t beat anyone.
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Many moons ago when I was at school, two of my mates were Spurs supporters. They would go to White Hart Lane and wait for about ten minutes after kick off and climb over the wall. One Saturday a policeman caught them and he made them go back in and watch the rest of the game!
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A man was found dead floating in the Thames, wearing a blond wig, full make-up, bra, knickers, suspenders and a Spurs shirt. Before informing the next of kin the police removed the Spurs shirt to save the family embarrassment.
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Q. What do you have when Tottenham fans are buried up to their neck in sand?
A. Not enough sand.
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Q. You’re locked in a room with a lion, a crocodile, and a Yid.
You have a gun with 2 bullets. What should you do?
A. Shoot the Spurs Fan – twice.
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Q. Why do Tottenham fans plant potatoes round the edge of their gardens?
A. So they have something to lift at the end of the season!
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Q. A car full of Tottenham fans drive over a cliff! Why is that bad?
A. You can only fit 7 in a car.
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And to finish it off you REALLY need to watch this video from a couple of years ago when Arsenal finished above Spurs AGAIN! Hitler was NOT happy! I may have had a couple of beers too many but I still can’t stop laughing out loud at this….
Please feel free to add your own anti-Spuds jokes in the comments….