Wenger IS geared up for busy Arsenal Transfer Deadline Day

It appears that, once again, Arsene Wenger has managed to pull the wool over the eyes of the Arsenal fans and the football media. Despite sniffing around for Arsenal transfer rumours (or just making them up) both before and during the January transfer window, it has now been generally accepted that the only addition to the Arsenal first team squad this month will be Mohamed Elneny.

Ha! Well I have some news for you Gooners, because a ‘reliable’ source close to Wenger has revealed to me that the Frenchman actually has a lot planned for transfer deadline day. He has a lot to get in before the window slams shut at 11 pm on Monday February 1st and I can exclusively reveal his plans.

First up is a continental breakfast of coffee, croissant and orange juice. That is definite but Wenger has not decided whether he will be reading a paper or watching a bit of TV while he has it. He then has the serious business of preparing his witty answers to the tired old transfer questions from the media during the press conference ahead of the Southampton match.

Look, these comments do not write themselves you know, and there is always a little bit pressure on the prof to explain why he is the only person in the world that can grasp why the Gunners do not actually need to spend any money. I mean it is not as if we have a bad record with injury problems or anything, or that after 12 years we are desperate to win the Premier League.

Then training and a lazy lunch while Wenger waits for Lionel Messi to call. Then it’s into hiding with the phone turned off just in case some transfer deal does come up. Job done!